The Beauty that Remains by Ashley Woodfolk

beauty that remainsThe Beauty that Remains gripped me fiercely from the beginning. Since there are three distinct narratives going on, I’m going to talk about them in order.

“‘You okay? he asks. We say this to each other all the time now, whenever one of us catches the other zoning out; whenever it’s clear that we’re thinking about you. I nod, even though I’ll never be okay again, but I don’t know what else to say. I ask him the same question. ‘Are you?’ And he nods too, completing the circular lie we’ve been telling each other for days, since we first saw the photo of your car. Lying is the new language we speak. It’s the only way we can talk at all.”

Autumn’s voice is strong and compelling, and I was captivated by the ways in which she dealt with her grief. I immediately felt a connection to her and I wanted to know more – I wanted to help her get through her loss. I also fell in love with Dante because he’s a wonderful muffin and I just wanted to eat him up. They are perhaps my new favorite contemporary YA couple.

Autumn is dealing with the loss of her best friend, and her storyline deals a lot with guilt over “what-if” thinking. “What if Autumn had gone with Tavia to that party instead of staying behind? What if Dante had driven her instead of bailing to hang out with Autumn?” What if what if what if? There are so many warped paths your brian can take you down if you allow yourself to rewrite the past over and over. It’s a very real struggle, and I appreciate how candid Autumn’s letters to Tavia were. How DO you move on when your best friend dies? How do you keep living your life when they’re never going to get to finish living theirs?

“They say that dead people who have unfinished business with the living become ghosts. That their spirits linger here, or in limbo somwhere, and that they can’t rest in peace until they’ve done whatever it is that they needed to do. But no one ever talks about the living who have unfinished business with the dead. Where is the plane they’re banished to, and how do they ever find peace again?”

Logan was a bit more complicated for me. I didn’t really like him very much in the beginning, and while he did grow on me he was never my favorite person. Plus, I felt there were a couple of scenes in his section that were a bit too R-rated for me (when it comes to sex in literature I’m like an 11-year-old).

That being said, his side of the story deals with the pain of not being able to take things back after someone dies. Unlike Autumn, who mostly grieves by writing to her lost loved one, Logan grieves by smothering his feelings in alcohol and other illicit activities. He hides from his grief. I think there is a lot to be learned from him and that redeemed his story arc for me. His ex-boyfriend has committed suicide and Logan can’t help but remember their last conversation (their break up conversation) where he said hurtful things that he’s regretted ever since but can no longer apologize for. It’s shocking and raw to watch him unravel with guilt over it, but no less powerful to see him begin to heal himeslf with music later on.

“There’s something I feel from being in this room – a kind of gut understanding. Losing a twin is like losing a leg – you forget how to stand on your own because you never needed to. Everyone in this room is missing a piece of themselves in the same unbearable, unexplainable way that I am.”

And then there is Shay, whom I also really liked and rooted for throughout the story. The whole concept of beign “twinless” was absolutely horrible and impoosible to even imagine and my heart just wept for her.

She’s dealing with anxiety attacks ever since her twin sister, Sasha, passed away from Lukemia. Even though they knew that Sasha was dying, that doesn’t make the pain any less excrutiating now that she’s gone. Of all of the characters, Shay has the best support group in the form of her friends. They really come together for her to get her the help she needs, and I applaud that. YA needs more friends like that.

I also liked how the story explored Shay’s relationship with her mom, and how they deal with their grief individually and together.

I loved that the three stories connected. At first, jumping from each POV seemed kind of random, but as you read you start to see all of the connections piling up until the three stories converge. It’s very well written and I thought that all three protagonists balanced each other out nicely.

While I’m not the biggest music buff out there, I still appreciated how the music tied these indivudals together. My only complaint would be that the music seems rooted in Logan and Shay’s stories but seemed a bit “thrown in” in Autumn’s. I would have slipped in more music references earlier on in her story.

Other than that, this is a touching and poignant story of loss, love, and moving on when nothing will ever be the same. It’s about forging a new future from the ashes of grief and I absolutely loved it.

Rating: 5+/5 stars

 

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