By Sunday evening I was onto the final film, unextended…
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
There isn’t an #ExtendedEdition of #DesolationOfSmaug yet… We all know it’s coming though, they’re obviously waiting for #Christmas.
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 10, 2014
Let’s go through the #ElvanGate in #Mirkwood, because we’ve had so much luck with the #elves thus far, and we get along with them SO well.
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 10, 2014
Saying, “Do not enter that mountain without me,” is like guaranteeing that they will. #TheHobbit #GandalfAdvice #LonelyMountain
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 10, 2014
I’m seeing a lot of #Mirkwood in #TheForbbidenForest now… Aragog could be a descendent of #MiddleEarth. #TheHobbit #RowlingMustLoveTolkien
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 10, 2014
#Legolas certainly never mentioned his father imprisoning #Gimli‘s father in #TheHobbit – they’re like the #RomeoAndJuliet of #bromances.
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 10, 2014
There’s a special place in my heart for a being as crazy as #Thranduil. #TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 10, 2014
When #Thranduil rots his face off it’s like an #acidtrip. #TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 10, 2014
It’s nice that Peter Jackson created a female character for #TheHobbit, but we all know #Legolas‘ one true love was #Gimli. #LOTR #bromance
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 10, 2014
Out of the frying pan into the… barrels? #TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 10, 2014
#Legolas: “There was more the Orc could tell us.”
#Thranduil: “There was nothing more he could tell ME.”
Way to be a team player. #TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
“You promised to free him!” “I freed his wretched head from his miserable shoulders.” #Thorin was smart not to cut a deal with #Thranduil
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
Everyone has daddy issues in #Tolkien: #Boromir and #Legolas have psychopathic dads, #Aragorn‘s dad is absent, and #Gimli‘s is a cheapskate.
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
I would’ve trusted #Bard the second he showed his snark with his “It’s a small town Alfred, everyone knows where everyone lives” line.
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
Not sure I’d start talking about #windlances and the day the dragon came around total strangers, but that’s just me. #TheHobbit #Dale #Bard
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
So you believe in portents and following crows back to the mountain, but the idea of #Gideon hitting #Smaug is a #fairytale? #DwarfLogic
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
Remember when #Gandalf made #Frodo use an assumed name in #LOTR? Perhaps he learned that from #Thorin‘s mistake using his real name in #Dale
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
Not sure I’d start talking about #windlances and the day the dragon came around total strangers, but that’s just me. #TheHobbit #Dale #Bard
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
Cause it’s obviously #Bard‘s fault that #Gideon couldn’t kill a giant, fire-breathing dragon like #Smaug. #TheHobbit #DesolationOfSmaug
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
#Bilbo is like, Um, do you really think we should try to enter the mountain without the ONE person capable of actually saving us, #Gandalf?
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
If we can’t find the door, we’ll just break open a mountain, no big deal. #TheHobbit #DesolationOfSmaug
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
Of course #Bilbo figures it out; he’s a #RiddleMaster. Come on, guys, DUH. #TheHobbit #RiddlesInTheDark #Gollum #DesolationOfSmaug
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
What exactly is the use of having a door you can only open once a year? #TheHobbit #LonelyMountain #DesolationOfSmaug #Erebor
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
“You remember it, #Balin. Chambers filled with golden light.” Yeah, cause you came back for the “golden light.” Not the actual gold. #Erebor
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
I don’t know who drew the shorter straw in this film: #Gandalf or #Bilbo. #TheNecromancer or #Smaug? #TouchChoices #TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
#AzogTheDefiler could’ve gotten a part in 300 if he’d wanted to. “We are legion!” Very spartan of you, Azog. #TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
And the moment we’ve all been waiting for! Enter #Sherlock… Er, I mean… #Smaug! #TheHobbit #LonelyMountain #DesolationOfSmaug
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
I would have STARTED with the ring on. Just sayin’. #TheHobbit #LonelyMountain
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
There is a freaking lake of gold and jewels and #Bilbo is stopping to examine every single white stone like the adorable #hobbit he is.
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
Of course #Smaug knows all about the #RingOfPower – he has #Sherlockian powers of #deduction. #ShamlessSherlockReference #TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
Watching #Bilbo grovel to #Smaug is almost as good as watching #Watson beat up #Sherlock… No idea why that comparison comes to mind.
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
More #riddles from #Bilbo – Starting to see a trend here. But little does he know that #Smaug is a #RiddleMaster too – he solves puzzles. 😉
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
He knows about the dwarves!?! What do I do? Maybe if I pretend I don’t know how to pronounce the word #dwarf he won’t push the issue.#Hobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
#Smaug saying that #dwarves “are drawn to treasure like flies to dead flesh” is kind of like #Sherlock calling someone a drug addict.#Hobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
I’m forced to believe that #Bard has never shot a #Windlance ever, yet he seems confident that he can kill #Smaug with one arrow… hmm…
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
#Bard is the #Aragorn of #TheHobbit.
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
#Smaug already knows about #Thorin‘s plans, without ever leaving #TheLonelyMountain – maybe he has a #HomelessNetwork too? #SherlockRefernce
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
#Smaug just basically told #Bilbo, “You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.” #KnightsTale #Hobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
#Smaug is brilliant with #metaphors. He could teach english. “My teeth are swords. My claws are spears. My wings are a hurricane.”#TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
#Smaug is all about reason – he even gives #Bilbo a choice on how he wants to die. #SherlockianLogic #SmaugIsSherlock #TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
When #orcs invade your home I don’t think screaming is the most helpful solution. #Tauriel obviously agrees with me. #CalmDown #TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
It’s okay, #Legolas. If #Tauriel decides to fall in love with #Kili (and who could blame her) you’ll still have #Gimli when he grows up.
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
#Smaug‘s downfall will probably be all the #monologuing he does… #TheIncredibles taught us that. #TheHobbit #DesolationofSmaug
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
Nothing like running into an impromptu tomb of your kinfolk to really give you hope. #TheHobbit #DesolationOfSmaug
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
You can’t outsmart #Smaug – his intellect is too great! He’s like the #SherlockHolmes of #dragons! #TheHobbit #DesolationOfSmaug
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
Surfing a river of molten gold is now on my bucket list. #Erebor #ThorinOakenshield #TheHobbit #DesolationOfSmaug
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
They’ve basically ruined #Erebor with all of these crazy antics anyway, so this was not a well thought out plan. #TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
#Thorin could be on a #makeover show with #Smaug – his color really is #gold I think. It brings out his inner fire. #TheHobbit
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
The #dwarves couldn’t just break open #TheLonelyMountain but #Smaug sure can. #Showoff #TheHobbit #DesolationOfSmaug
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
“I. Am. Fire. I. Am. Death.” Again with those #metaphors. #Smaug is such a boss. I know he’s evil, but I just sort of love his #Sherlockness
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
Only a little over 11 minutes of #credits and a haunting #EdSheeran song, yet #Smaug still didn’t grab an #Oscar. I feel #cheated for it.
— Caitlin (@moralynn1992) August 11, 2014
So there you have it, Folks. My Tolkien inspired madness. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!
Caitlin